The Tortoise and the Hare

Sunday after church I was cruising along a country road at about 50 miles an hour- approximately the speed limit - in a light rain on my way to take Taylor to deliver a gift to her friend. Out of no where a white-cotton-tailed bunny comes hopping out in front of us. Now ordinarily I would just lift my foot off the gas and gently tap the brakes and hope for the best (I never slam the brakes, this is my attempt to avoid becoming one of those people that brakes for a small animal and ends up in a ditch and throws all the passengers from the car and the only animal I managed to hit so far was a skunk, who would have been fine if he hadn't decided to stop in the middle of the road - so far my system seems to be working) but something about killing a bunny on Easter seemed morally wrong and possibly scarring to children. So I hit the brakes a little harder than usual and Taylor let out an audible sigh of relief as the oblivious bunny took its cute little cotton tail and hopped off the road and out into the neighboring meadow (really it was somebody's yard).

Yesterday I realized I had made the right choice to brake for the bunny when I saw a rather large turtle along the side of the road on my way to pick up the girls from school. From where he was sitting and the pace he was setting I figured he would still be there after I picked the girls up from school, 30 minutes later. Taylor's favorite animal is a turtle and this is the first time we have seen one this year. (I do not understand why we have "wild turtles" in Ohio, rather odd if you ask me.) I told the girls all about it and everyone was so excited to see it so before dropping off the carpool kids I went out of my way to drive over to see it. As we approached the area I could see someone had stopped in the middle of the road and was moving Mr. Turtle out of the lane we were in. I am thinking perfect, we will get a great view of it now. I directed everyone to the spot where the Good Samaritan had placed the turtle on the side of the road.

All six of the girls in the car stuck their noses against the window to get a good view. And they did, they got a great view..... only this time the turtle had been decapitated and there was blood everywhere. Horrified by the scene I tried in vain to redirect their attention but they would not be pulled away from the window. Suddenly the van was filled with screeching and tears and blame. Apparently, to them, I was to blame for the fate of the turtle. I dropped off the somber carpool kids and listened to my girls cry the whole way home.

Hooked on Online Dating

My sister decided last week that the dating pool in her area has been completely tapped out and she just needs to broaden her horizons so she bit the bullet and signed up on an LDS singles site. Then she immediately regretted it. A couple of day after she took the plunge she called me and said, "I just can't do this. Will you be my site manager?" I jumped at the chance.

I set up my own singles-spy-profile under the screen name Looking-for-a-brother-in-law. I have spent too many hours to admit on this website searching through literally hundreds of eligible young men aged 29-37, that always attend church, are temple endowed, hold college or graduate degrees, never been married, no children, and a minimum of 5'10" (and then I dropped the height requirement - but she prefers tall), with an athletic build, that basically live anywhere in the U.S. - and just so no one thinks I am being too picky I have also done less specific searches as well to include divorced and widowed men with children, but since my sister has never been married I did try and focus my search on the single-never-been-married men. I read through her messages and screen who is veiwing her. I narrow down the choices - weed out the absolutely-no-never-this-guy-cannot-be-related-to-me choices as well as the this-guy-doesn't-stand-a chance choices and then I call her. She sits at her computer in Texas, I on my computer in Ohio, and we look up the different men I have selected and she sends them messages.

I did find one guy I am very optimistic about (basically of all the guys I have seen he is my top pick) but nothing has happened .........yet, but it has only been a week. My kids are totally into this too. They keep asking me if I have found them a new uncle yet. I am determined to help her find the right man!!!! Who knew matchmaking would be so much work???? So if anyone out there has any good prospects that fit the specifications PLEASE let me know! (if you need the details about my sister I can get them to you :) ) She is a super great catch!

Tangled, Texting, and Tampons

Today was the first day of our Spring Break so I decided to take the girls to the cheap theater to watch Tangled in 3D with a few of their friends. Going along with the "cheap" theme I took an enormous bag of M&M's and filled sandwich bags for each child and put them in my purse along with the brown paper bags for popcorn (I explain this later). Talia saw the M&M bags sitting on the counter and grabbed one. I told her she couldn't have it because it is for the movie theater.

Talia: But I am just going to put it in my Princess lunchbox to take it with us.

Mom: Oh, well it really needs to go in my purse.

Talia: Why?

Mom: Well.... [I am not sure how to explain] Well, we kind of have to hide it to take it in.

Talia: You mean be sneaky?

Mom: Right. I have to be a little sneaky so the movie workers don't see the candy.

Talia: You know, Mom, Jesus is still watching.

Well I took the M&ms anyway but I did buy the popcorn! I gave each girl a brown paper bag and divided up the popcorn then got the refill which then spilled all over the floor. Tangled was so fun in 3D! We loved it!

On the drive home the girls are all hyper and noisy! The rain is pouring down! The traffic is nuts! And I am singing show tunes rather loudly to embarrass my kids - which worked splendidly - because Chris took the mini van through a car wash a couple of weeks ago and the antenna busted off so we have no music. Needless to say the drive home was a little crazy soooo I missed my exit (but lets face it I would have missed it anyway, I am useless without my GPS but for some reason Chris took that to work with him today). I really needed to get to the store to buy tampons but with the 30 minute detour I took I now didn't have time. I decided to have Aubrey text Chris and ask him to pick some up. I handed Aubrey my phone so that he would know the tampons are for me and not her and I say: Aubrey text dad and ask him to stop at the store and buy tampons for me. I kind of peak over her shoulder and it looks like she texted the word Dad. So I tell her not to say Dad because I want him to think I sent the text. She assures me she didn't but I ask her to show me the text before she sends it anyway.

Aubrey: But I already sent it.

Mom: Let me see the phone. [I proceed to check the sent texts. And there it is.] Aubrey this says to Dad.

Aubrey: i know you asked me to text Dad. [Now I just laugh because it hits me.]

Mom: Aubrey 'Dad' in my contacts is not your dad, its my dad! You just sent this to grandpa not Chris!

Now we both laugh and so does her friend. Not two minutes later my dad texts me back: I think this was a message meant for someone else. I am in an airport....but if you really need tampons I can ship some to you. I think he got a good laugh out of it too.